I rarely get attracted to men. RARELY!

But when I do, I really DO!

But it’s not what you think. Yes, i fall head over heels, i put the men i am attracted to in a pedestal, and I practically go ‘gaga’.

So…. then I’d be fairly vulnerable in times like this right? WRONG! When I like a guy, that means I hold him at a very high esteem. That’s the only way I could actually like a guy.

Then, there should be this finely printed clause that he should never EVER! fall for me, or like me in a romantic kind of way. Otherwise, that’s the end of his reign in my pedestal…

Sounds weird? Well not really. Because all the admiration, all the feelings I have are all inside my head. I created sort of a different universe in my imagination solely for him.

Therefore, he would be the best man I could ever think of in that surreal space and time. He’s my dream that I refuse to realize.

This has always be my pattern. Dreams will end the moment it starts to materialize right before my eyes. Then the feelings would be gone and the dream would lose it’s luster….

Right now, take a look at a photo taken with the man I’m dreaming of now. My new Scott.

I know I am so out dated, but so what?! Recently, prison break is one of my addictions. Since Kyle XY is still not updated in tuduo.com I decided to try out prison break instead.

My flat mates are all addicted to it but the thing is… they’re already in the 3rd season, current episode! I tried watching it with them and problem is, they are getting more and more annoyed with me asking them so many questions.

What can I do? Someone has to fill me out on what’s happening. hehe! Now, I’m still in season one, 5th episode. To think about it I find the concept of it quite amusing actually.

Fine, it may be ridiculous to some people, but it’s television! What do you expect? It does serves it’s purpose which is to entertain.

See, it’s about this guy (Michael) who staged a bank robbery to save his brother from the electric chair. So he devised a plan on how he can escape prison and bring his brother along.

So far this is how I would describe prison break. Still don’t know the whole story since I’m just starting to watch it. If only my internet is fast enough then I can easily watch it. Arg!!

Anyway, till next time!!! (coz I’m watching my mean time favorite show.. haha!)

and by the way, did I tell you that Michael here is sooooo cute too?! (more of an attraction really)

I have been writing a lot about Scott, my ex boyfriend yet in reality I actually have two ex boyfriends…

His name is Louie, and this is the first time I will be writing about him. This is saying much because I love to write. I also find it weird, but I have formed some theories in my head why I don’t talk about him much.

Louie is a very nice guy. He has never hurt me in any way and he took good care of me in the short period that we were together. It was a romance that lasted two months.

Our relationship didn’t really work out. The moment it started, I knew that it will not work out. I still don’t want to talk about our time together. I’d like to keep those memories to myself.

This post is a token of gratitude for Louie. And I want to talk about him now.

Louie and I have a very different background. He is a religious person and is very careful in how he treats people. He believes in a life of simplicity that is free from pain, complication and intrigue. He also leads a very healthy lifestyle. Doesn’t drink, smoke and rarely goes out to party.

Our academic backgrounds are different as well. Let’s just say that I came from a more prestigious university. Am I saying that he’s stupid? Not in the very least. I found Louie to be an extremely smart guy. His logic is firm, and he has a good grasp of his abilities.

He has a very strong bond with his mother and his sister and all our colleagues like him very much. This is the only thing we have in common. Family. But being different doesn’t mean I didn’t loved him.

The reason why I decided not to pursue the relationship is because I knew I can and will eventually hurt him. I know during that time he was hurt. I hope by now he knows that I didn’t mean to.

The truth is, I did loved Louie… in the only way I know how. And the memories… I will always cherish.

You might be thinking, who am I? Who is misscel? Well that in itself is a trick question. As of the moment, I am not in the mood to give you my perception of myself.

I was browsing my friendster profile, and then I read what people has to say about me. So I decided to post what some of my friends think of me. I hope this will help in a way.

1. This is what my cousin has to say about me.

Cel is a sad pathetic girl, who is just consumed by jealousy for her handsome, charming cousin. I cannot begin to say all the times that I have caught her staring at me or trying to sabotage me out of nothing but pure, unabiding, jealousy. Sad isn’t it? Aside from her incredible problems with jealousy, she is also the bossiest human being that the world has ever known. Even Hitler doesn’t compare to the tyrannical hold that she has over me. She tries to tell me what I’m supposed to wear, when I’m supposed to shave, and even when I’m supposed to sleep and wake up! A tyrant, indeed. Also, she is a sad sad woman when it comes to a love life. She obviously turns off every guy with her incredible bossiness, me and her brother, Arvin, were talking about this, that any guy who dates her must be a masochist because spending time with her is nothing but pure pain and discomfort. I feel sorry for the man who has to marry her, that poor poor soul. On the other hand, I love her too, Love you CUZ!

2. Here’s from a former colleague.

This chick is sooo gay! mean, candidly brutal, drastically brat and downright annoying. She knows what she wants and most of the time, she gets it. Cel is a scintillating conversationalist, that’s why i just love talkin to this vampy lass. She is a smart vixen who opt wearing drab dresses and carelessly take no chances of getting caught unprepared in whatever situations. An epitome of a typical friday-night-out-gurl where being fun is such a biggie to her. She has strong personality and very loud character and oh did I tell you that she’s a bitch as well, haha! I came across this looker late last year when she and jeremy joined our team, she was my yosi-buddy and from there the cheesy-word *friendship* starts. We talked and shared common as well as some uncommon experienced. Too bad, our defining conversations and fun-stuff with the rest of the team ended up after she left accenture early of this year, we miss you though. Especially, me and lea. See you soon!

3. From a gay friend of mine.

Cel ganda!!! what can i say about her, one of the few intelligent people i know. now dont chocke yourself on this. This girl has trouble has written all over her. cafefull you dont end in her bad side cause you’ll regret it. sweet yet cruel, lovable yet can be intolerable, one hell of a brain when she uses it but can make you roll over when she chooses not to use it.

what more can i say.. one girl you can rely on kahit laging late ( sige her lateness is her choice).

btw topnotcher siya sa DYNOMITE

love you cel and keep their heads and sanity rolling

4. From the boyfriend of my gay friend who is now also one of my good friends.

when my life had already gone stale, two excellent products of creation were given to me: cel was the second. i know from the ecstatic moment i saw her face to the fatalistic event of talking with her on the phone (both thanks to the first) that she would rock my torpid being as it had never been shaken before; and the stir she created will forever be the chroma indelibly imprinted in my once pallid evanescent soul. thanks for coming along cel; surely, after you, i am never the same again, and i am more than glad.

There you go? Do you have any idea, or did I just confused you more? haha!! pardon my haha’s. I am just a person who loves to laugh and snicker.

Anyway, one of these days I will begin to let you know more about myself. We have all the time in the world. (so to speak) And this is also the reason why I even bothered creating my own website.

So you’ll be able to know me. And I hope you let me know you too!!

I have very funny friends. And all are very vain. I just want to share a normal conversation between me and one of my friends.

this is about an article I wrote in friendster blog.

eww cel… who are you talking about??? haha yeah as if we all don’t know. I never knew you to be so melodramatic. ease up girl, we never wallow, we never pine

Posted by: Cathy | July 18, 2006 10:11 PM

duh! cathy!! it’s supposed to be melow dramatic. how do you suppose other people to relate if it’s not?!

humans are attracted to pain and chaos. it’s in their nature. besides, it’s supposed to be a literary pc.
So don’t appeal anymore noh!!

Posted by: Cel | July 20, 2006 01:17 AM

Mere mortals can relate to your piece because pain and rejection are what they are accustomed to. But a goddess like you? Come on. Get over it.( You have to pay me for that hehe )

But I have to admit it’s very well-written, sans the theme and the drama… mwah love you cel

Posted by: Cathy | July 20, 2006 08:16 PM

haha! love you too dear..
don’t worry, the next blog will be more like my old self.

drama, drama, drama! haha! enough of that. but, i dare you to write about pain. if you’re really a good writter, then you can write about anything..

btw, of course it’s well written! do you expect anything less than a tangent to perfection from your bestfriend?! hekhek!

Posted by: Cel | July 20, 2006 11:41 PM

We can go on and talk like this the whole day and we’ll never get tired of praising each other. Or our own selves if the other doesn’t feel like it.

It’s like there’s this unspoken rule that we are friends to make each other feel better.